The Tigga Crew
The gangstercized version of real towson/dulaney life as depicted by spøut

Well i would just like to start off by saying that all of this is true just with more cuss words and
winnie the pooh characters. some is a play version, some is narraration.
Chapter 1 - Meet Tigger
Chapter 2 - Meet Rabbit
Chapter 3 - The Summer of Roo
Chapter 4 - The Summer In General

Chapter 5 - Junior Thugz Regulatin
Chapter 6 - The Benalution
Chapter 7 - Piggers
Chapter 8 - Tigger Is Regulated








 

 

 

 

 

 



Setting: 100 Acre Woods
Main characters: tigger, pooh bear, christopher robin, Eeyore, rabbit, kanga, roo, dabe da dense turtle

Narrarator: Yo, there was some mad shits going on in the 100 acre forest not too long ago. Mother fucking bitch ass tiggers running all over this biznatch. So I suppose you wanna know what happened, you filthy cunt. Here we go..·´¯`·-.¸

Chapter 1 - Meet Tigger
Setting: 100 acre mall

Tigger: Aww shit dawg, mah bitch is comin up in here soon.
Roo: Fuck dat hoe, she don't like mah stylin jacket.
Tigger: Fuck it man, she puts out like a hurricane on crack, ima be in the skins 10 minutes flat.
Roo: Then I guess I'll be out, you whipped piece of tigger shit.
Tigger: Fuck you, I aint whipped.
Roo: Peace out.

Chapter 2 - Meet Rabbit
A week later

Rabbit: I smoked up 5 times today man
Roo: shit, ever heard of sharing?
Rabbit: fuck that, lets go create some havoc
Roo: word

::Both thugs enter a T.G.I.Fridays::
::roo sticks out gun::
Roo: Hey bitch, don't scream or a bullet's goin in your mouth quicker than mah dick.
Lady: don't shoot, take anything you want.
::rabbit stuffs pockets with mints::
Lady: OH NO! They stole mints!
::roo shoots her::
Roo: you lucky your ugly hoe, or id'a hit yo stank like a snake with a bum leg.
::hooligans go on top of parking lot rook and throw mints into ongoing traffic, havoc they did commit::

Chapter 3 - The Summer of Roo
The summer begins, roo, rabbit, and dabe da dense turtle (cuz he's real slow) had been having many fun times with the substance marijuana. But soon roo was at the 100 acre mall alone. What was roo to do? Common pharmacy brand cold syrup medicines! Roo drank bottle after bottle of the disgusting syrup. The woodland creatures could tell roo had a problem,
but he continued. He wasn't happy with the robo though, and advanced to other cold medicines which did nothing for him. Roo
bacame violent and In need of that red shit. The March of Robo was upon him. Ecery box was stolen from every store, if he had
money he would have gotten real drugs, 15 bottles in 1 week, he had to stop. And he did for a short period of time, and got drunk
for awhile. He stayed at goose's house doing a little robo and drinking a lot of vodka for a week. He was banned from the 100 acre
mall while intoxicated and he continued to drink the vile substances. Drammamine was discovered and that was the end of the
summer of roo, sent to prison and fucked in the ass numerous times, not to mention the minor brain damage suffered.

Chapter 4 - The Summer In General

After roo's disappearance and the chaos that ensued, things began to change. Tigger's hoe was dropped and so was Eeyore's who's
hoe was goose. The regular ruff n tuff, lsd, weed, n xtsay type thugs had decided the scene was old and never returned. Many thugs
were whipped by they bithes and they never returned either. The summer in general soon came to an end.

Chapter 5 - Junior Thugz Regulatin
Though weakened greatly, the tigger crew was still at large and in charge. Even if roo was locked up behind the corrupt system of
kanga. The benalution was to occur slowly but surely.

Chapter 6 - THE BENALUTION
Christopher Robin: I grow tired of these shit tiggers, I want them dealt with
Pooh: I'll take care of it hoss.

::at Eeyore's bus stop:: ::car stops::
Christopher Robin: GET HIM POOH!
Pooh: Hey bitch, put up your dukes and we're gunna have it out.
Eeyore: Who the fuck are you, talking to me like that?!
Pooh: I'm the sandwich man, you lanky nut hair.
::pooh's thugs crowd around him::
Eeyore: awwwww shit fella's, no need to get violent.
pooh-thug1: fuck you!
::rumble ensues until Eeyore is beaten and bloody on the ground::

Time: Next day at school

Giraffe: -to pooh- hey bitch, I heard you were pushing my boy around.
Pooh: hey man, this shit don't involve you
Giraffe: now it fuckin does, your marked shitface

Time: After School

::pooh, Christopher Robin, and their thugs go towards the bus's where Eeyore is::
To roo and tigger: one of your boyz aint gunna be walkin soon!

The call for back begins.

Time: The next day

During school the tension is so thick you could cut it with a sleek slimy 2 toned dick. You can hear whispers in the hall of the
benalution. The school day ends. Perhaps 800 student, almost half the population of dulaney, begin walking down to the field
where the rumble is to occur. The field was filled with bloodthirsty forest creatures. Alas, it was not meant to be however,
badger cops came and busted that shit up, twas the end of the benalution.

Chapter 7 - Piggers
This will offend 3 or 4 people, but it has to be said. Don't think this is just my view, I value all of these people friendships, but this
is the general feeling within all the animals of the 100 acre wood (besides some people who just DON'T know).

Before the benalution even occurred, the piggers came about. Let me explain the phrase pigger.
Pigger (noun) - A poseur tigger.
Poseur (noun) [Fr] - A person who assumes attitudes or manners merely for their effect upon others.
Pieces of shit (noun, adj.) - Piggers
A tigger is a large generalization, you can be a jock, a yo, a punk, anything. you just have to respect the beliefs of other and NOT
do things for the benefit of your own popularity, which I will explain in firther detail soon enough. God knows I was a pigger at one
time, and some may think that I still am, but I don't give a shit, I know im my own person, however, the 100 acre mall scene can
do things to people that I will give some leeway of. But here I go…..


THE HORRIBLE THING ABOUT PIGGERS
IS PIGGERS ARE HORRIBLE THINGS


Here goes my pigger bashing. The piggers are as follow: Squirrel, Crusader, and Sand Tigger. None of them used to fit into any kind
of social class. They couldn't play sports, so they couldn't be jocks, they werent close to yo material and they woul d have gotten
their asses kicked in the burnout circle (I will discuss the crusaders attempt to be a burnout later) and no one in general really
wanted them around. I was the same except for the no one wanted me around, plus I was kind of a burnout and I could play sports
pretty damn well ;D. they WERE however friends with some of the tiggers around the school, somewhat friends or not even
acquainted. in 1 day I saw normal lookin kids with no life turn into piggers with no life. I myself went to omelet training to become
remotely tiggerish, though I do not consider myself punk in any way.

Squirrel produced a tri-hawk, sewed patches onto a hoody and called himself punk, though we have a quote from his sister
saying "he's not a very good "punk", but she's stupid so lets continue. He came to the 100 acre mall to become popular by
meeting people that didn't know him. He came to have sex more than that. As soon as he turned pigger, him and a girl, lets
call her Robin (no that's not a Y) The bird, got together.

The crusader came to the 100 acre wood to promote his coolness by buying cigarettes. He also came to have sex, which has not
occurred yet for him, h could make no friends ate the school so he started from a clean slate at the mall being that cute guy
everyone loves but shouldn't.

The Sand Tigger started out wearing GodSmack shirts but soon realized that would not make hom popular so he started
wearing his 1 rage shirt for what seems like 6 weeks (and I think it HAS been that long) to prove how dirty he is, another
tiggerificus punkus stereotype. punks do not have to be dirty to be punk, punk is ideas not how filthy you are. fuck him.

I would like to add that their popularity has diminished greatly since everyone figured out they're full of shit. they all smoke to
be cool, SMOKING ISNT COOL. I only smoke because of my 4 year addiction, and I started out to look cool, in the fucking 8th
grade. not fuckin junior year of high school. I know im being mean but they all deserve this, so time for the shit to hit the fan.
I was smoking at the corner last year, I think in the spring, and squirrel walks up to me and asks for a drag of my cig,
I give it to him, he sucks on it, blows out 1 sec later with this huge cloud of smoke that is the key sign that he didn't inhale.
and that scenario must have happened 3 times that year, so im saying, your not fucking addicted, just quit smoking now
until you just cant like me. YOUR ALL FULL OF SHIT! no offense.

Lemme continue on squirrel, he is a horrible drunk, fake or real. He drank a lil vodka and was blazing drunk in seconds, running
around hitting things with sticks and hurting himself. To rabbit, rob the bear king and dabe da dense turtle, im sorry for that
ONE time that I acted like a fucking idiot when I was drunk, I drank just a little too much. ok, so then he tried to rape his
girlfriend at the time pixytroll, resulting in her crying and us around her comforting her while squirrel ran around some more.
Rape is an asshole thing to do.

Dabe da dense turtle has requested I bash the crusader some more, and redheaded big k says that you are a big asshole. The
crusader could never fit in the yo social class because they laughed at him for wearing southpark shirts. he tries to do things with
girls with low self esteem or they are rebounding, or in some cases just are sluts. They all seem to hate him afterwards and dump
him for being so annoying, stupid, etc.

I would just like to say to all the piggers - the 100 acres mall isnt cool to hang out at anymore, the security team is a bunch of
assholes, cops are giving out cigarette citations, and the diner is off limits to the underage smoker. Anyone who still goes to that
hell hole every weekend for every second of that weekend just to hang around on a bench knowing no one will be there is a dork.
I used to go everday in the summer, but I knew people would be there. and one more thing, piggers drink to get cool, the purpose
of drinking is to get DRUNK! piggers don't inhale, they hardly even smoked or smoke, so fucking quit, there is no reason to smoke
unless you have formed an addiction. FUCK YOU!!!!!!!

Chapter 8 - Tigger is Regulated, the end of an era. Or is it?
igger was a sad sad lil tigger, he had no one to love. So a Mr. Lanky pushes him and a bitch together. We'll call her, The Whipper.
Here is a conversation I have devised thatmight show you how whipped he really is.

Whipper: Some fungus is growing in beween my toes, lick it out would you honey
Tigger: yes ma'am, and I'll have no social life while I'm at it.

The whipper hates his friends, he isn't ghetto anymore, he's a whipped, slick haired piece of dog shit. He always continues to wear
her drab hoody. So the tigger crew is left without a leader, so I suppose I shall take command of the remnants of it:
Roo
Mr. Lanky
Mullet0r (recently had mullet cut)
Eeyore
Rabbit
perhaps a couple others, but I have forgotten their names.
Unity was the object of the tigger crew, things just worked out. But to hell and back with our old ghetto values. Thus ends the
tigger crew.

Now I suppose I couldn't tell the whole tigger story in conversation mode, so I had to take it into the narrative. I suppose I'll goto
fun mode for the next installment. G'day to ye all, -Roo




The Tigga Crew